… it was not my best run today.
I have been tired for the past two days. I’ve slept more in the last two days than I’ve slept in the past week. I still feel like I need more sleep. I’ve been sick and on antibiotics for 30 days for the past three months. [10 days each month.]
It was a beautiful day today – but windy. From all directions.
The thermometer says that it’s 56 out there – on February 27th. But the wind was cold.
Let’s be perfectly honest:
I didn’t want to run today. I tried, I did. Believe me, I stayed out there longer than I thought I would. I was ready to quit after the first .25 mile. I was scheduled to do 4 miles.
I BARELY EEKED OUT 2.28 MILES at an insanely labored pace.
I can run through a lot – I know this. But I’m beginning to doubt myself. Maybe 13.1 miles is more than I can do at this stage in my life.
Do I really believe that?
No.
I’m scared. Half Marathon training is going to take a whole lot more dedication than I imagined.
I’m afraid I will put all this work into training and be disappointed.
The question is – do I BELIEVE it enough to keep training?
Because if I’m going to go out there every week and doubt myself – I don’t want to put myself under that kind of pressure. I don’t need to prove this to ANYONE but me.
But I need to believe that it’s possible for me to reach the Finish Line.
I’ve got 68 days to go before the race on May 6th…
2 comments:
Be gentle with yourself Deb, it takes time to recover from illness. Don't have doubts, look at all you've achieved so far!
Just pace yourself, and let yourself recover by not demanding too much of your body right now. Give it time to regather the strength it needs to give you the performance you want from it. You'll get there, just have patience. Don't set yourself back by asking too much of yourself too quickly. Good luck!
Thank you SO much, Sam. You're exactly right. Once I begin to feel better -- I just jump right back on the horse because I begin to feel panicked by the deadline for training. It's always most important to heal properly -- I need to remember this!!
Post a Comment